Weddings are supposed to be a jumping off point of a young couple's life together. Whether traditional or trendy the couple (particularly the bride) is emotional vested in the ceremony and what the event means. Even the most minor of 'hiccups' on this special day could ruin an otherwise perfect experience. Who hasn't seen or experienced a bridezilla moment at one point or another? It has always been my greatest fear to be the perpetrator who instigates one such bridezilla moment. Being a organized person and experienced in event planning, I would have liked to think that I think of everything and plan for every circumstance. Today, however, I was humbled.
A young couple who frequents the restaurant asked us to prepare a portion of their wedding reception menu. They would be taking care of the appetizers and one of the entrees. We would prepare and deliver two other entrees, the starch, the salad, the bread and dessert including a sheet cake for the cake cutting. Here's the kicker. The couple wanted the meal delivered, hot and ready to serve to the Yachats Lions Club. Simple right?
Well it should have been. Earlier I had entered the town of Yachats into www.googlemap.com in order estimate milage for the couples reception estimate. It was 75 miles, an estimated hour and half drive. Today, I arrived at the restaurant with time to load everything as well as giving myself (at my husband's suggestion) an extra half an hour drive time to deal with Saturday traffic on HWY 126. Just before leaving, I printed off exact directions to the reception site with the street address the bride had given me. But wait . . . these directions say it is TWO AND A HALF HOURS to the reception site! The Yachats Lions Club is apparently in Otterrock! Serveral more google map searches later, a frantic but fruitless look for a wedding party phone number, and a vague recollection of the bride mentioning something about Otterock, I rush out the door with said google map intructions in hand already forty-five minutes behind my new schedule.
As I speed along, I reasoned with myself. "Ok. I'm scheduled to arrive a half an hour before the ceremony. I'm only forty-five minutes behind. I'll get there fifteen minutes into the ceremony and no one will notice I am late," I thought. This reasoning alternated with "Oh God, please." Please get this slow car out of my way. Please don't let me miss my turn off again. Please make the road straighter so I can go faster. Things like that.
After a missed highway connection in Corvallis I arrive in Otterrock an hour later than the agreed upon delivery time and 344 4th street, Otterrock, Oregon is nowhere to be found. Not a single local knew of a 4th street OR a Lions Club in Otterrock. With my father talking me through a detailed google map description of Otterrock I arrive at 4th street and find myself on a deserted deadend road with no Yachat club in site. I have no choice but to disregard www.googlemaps.com and go with the logical assumption that the Yachats Lions Club is in Yachats (not Otterrock regardless of what google says) an hour away.
By this point, I had worried myself out. There was no way to make this better. "I've ruined this couples wedding," I thought. Appetizers will be gone. People will be just waiting around for me to show up. The bride will be frantic. If one digruntled customer tells ten about their bad experience, what will 120 disappoined/impatient/streesed wedding guests do? Have I just ruined by business reputation forever? WHAT CAN I SAY TO MAKE THIS OK?
Two hours late for my delivery, I pull up at the reception site. I see assorted guests standing outside, most with a drink in hand. I take a deep breath and pray one quick prayer. It was a simple prayer. "Please, God" I prayed. "Give me the words to make this right and give me peace."
First contact was nothing much. The two closest guys offer to help me carry. "Sure," I said. In my mind I am thinking, "I could use all the help I can get!" We begin carrying cambros through the guests to the kitchen. I begin setting up the buffet while the guys continue to haul things in. Then the GROOM asks what he can do to help!
Miracle of miracles! No words were neccessary. Things hadn't progress very far at all. The couple was still taking pictures. Appetizers were still out. The entree they were in charge of wasn't even ready to put out yet! I tried to apologize for being late. Trying not to make excuses, I explain about the Otterrock address and found that they had seen the same thing online. (They, at least, had already had a physical experince with the reception site.) They ended up APOLOGIZING TO ME for the stress I had experienced! They love the restaurant. They stop by for brunch on their way to the coast everytime. They tell (and will be telling) everyone about us. I couldn't have asked for (yet recieved) an easier situation than that. They let me know I can even be expecting a tip with return our equipment!
Now that's an answer to pray!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Munchkin Dictionary
We all carry on language patterns from our families - the old tomaeto vs tomauto debate. Kids have an additional language pattern which most grow out of. Most words in this language happen because young minds and mouths can't pronounce the English words the rest of us use. I've noticed our Munchkins have a few words that have stuck around. But cutest by far . . . are all of their variations on MY name.
Tabafa
Tabfa
Taba - taba (slow)
Tabataba (fast)
Taba
Initially these variation were because they had a problem pronouncing the 'th' in my name as I was getting to know them (and dating their father). Now their precious variations on my name alleviate the awkward 'what should they call me' moments most stepmothers have to deal with. I hope they never lose them, but am sure they will reach a moment around puberty where they'll feel the need to leave behind such childhood habits.
Tabafa
Tabfa
Taba - taba (slow)
Tabataba (fast)
Taba
Initially these variation were because they had a problem pronouncing the 'th' in my name as I was getting to know them (and dating their father). Now their precious variations on my name alleviate the awkward 'what should they call me' moments most stepmothers have to deal with. I hope they never lose them, but am sure they will reach a moment around puberty where they'll feel the need to leave behind such childhood habits.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Joys of Small Business (i.e. family, money, and time off)
Dear small businesses owners:
You have my condolences and my congratulations. I never understood before my own business venture the hardships and joys of owning and running your own business.
* The never ending worry about money, staffing, and maintaining excellent customer service.
* The satisfaction of a happy diner, a gushing thank you letter, a successful event and regulars.
* The disappointment of a bad dinner service, a slow week, or money down the drain.
* The freedom to make you own schedule, take an extra day off, or decide the course of your efforts.
* The ownership of each success and failure alike.
A family run business has its own particular hardships and joys. Everything is personal and work always comes home with you. Everyone pitches in when the need arises, yet much remains unspoken. Every success is more meaningful. Every failure is more personal. Relationships affect every decision for the good and the bad. It can be a deal breaker or sealer.
Here's to you who take on business ownership, who make your own way, and work the long hours after everyone else has gone home. I prayer the best for you. I hope that you get ahead far enough to retire or pass on your legacy rather than working full time until you are 90. I pray for your health, that your body can withstand the hours, stress, and worry of owning a small business. I wish the best for all relationships and family members involved that all survive the trials of running a business and all come out unscathed on the other end and better for the experience. I understand now.
You have my condolences and my congratulations. I never understood before my own business venture the hardships and joys of owning and running your own business.
* The never ending worry about money, staffing, and maintaining excellent customer service.
* The satisfaction of a happy diner, a gushing thank you letter, a successful event and regulars.
* The disappointment of a bad dinner service, a slow week, or money down the drain.
* The freedom to make you own schedule, take an extra day off, or decide the course of your efforts.
* The ownership of each success and failure alike.
A family run business has its own particular hardships and joys. Everything is personal and work always comes home with you. Everyone pitches in when the need arises, yet much remains unspoken. Every success is more meaningful. Every failure is more personal. Relationships affect every decision for the good and the bad. It can be a deal breaker or sealer.
Here's to you who take on business ownership, who make your own way, and work the long hours after everyone else has gone home. I prayer the best for you. I hope that you get ahead far enough to retire or pass on your legacy rather than working full time until you are 90. I pray for your health, that your body can withstand the hours, stress, and worry of owning a small business. I wish the best for all relationships and family members involved that all survive the trials of running a business and all come out unscathed on the other end and better for the experience. I understand now.
Grandparents (ie. breaking the curse)
This is re-post from last year which I removed to honor an uncle's request, but it needs to said. I love you grandpa!
June, 2009
Tonight I said Goodbye to my grandparents for, what I believe is, the last time. My grandmother has burnt has last bridge with my parents and my grandparents will be leaving tomorrow to live on the east coast. They will be living with their last child.
My grandmother has a long and sordid history of alienating and/or disowning one or all of her four children. It's a sad thing when the strongest memories I have of my grandmother are negative ones. It's a sad thing to watch a woman at the end of her life make the same prideful mistakes she made before you were even born. A lifetime of illness and fragile health brought about from resentment and a hardened heart. How can a mother disown a daughter who left her family and business in distress to 'rescue' her - move her lock, stock, and barrel into her own home sacrificing her own family to care for her parents? I don't understand it, but I watched it happen. In thinking about my grandmother, I have chalked her up to one of life's lessons - one I need to learn from. So what can I learn from my grandmother's lifetime of selfishness and self pity? OH, Let me count the ways!
1) Grow up. Mature with age and gain wisdom as you go. There's nothing less attractive than an 80 year old woman with the emotional maturity of a junior higher.
2) Learn from your mistakes. Life may be a spiral, but every time you come around again, the hurdles should be easier.
3) Age gracefully. Bitterness poisons you from the inside out. If you want to live a long and healthy life - live a happy life not storing up offenses and spewing at those around you.
4) Be real. Life is to short to fake your way through it. Life should never be about putting on a smiling face and pretending the ugliness of the night before never happened.
5) Give without the expectation of receiving. Give for the joy of giving not the satisfaction of being recognized. No one should feel guilty for not writing a thank you note.
6)Love without conditions. What do you have to cling to at the end of your life, but the relationships you've built throughout the course of it? Destroy them and you will be a sad, bitter, lonely old woman with nothing but your pride to cling to.
My greatest hope is to not carry these lessons through to my kids. I have enough to learn from in my life without repeating the mistakes of my ancestors.
THIS IS MY PRAYER . . .
May my pride not blind me to my own shortcomings.
May I have the grace to admit when I am wrong, the humility to make amends
and the desire to do better.
May I remember that all we have take from this world into the next are the
relationships we cultivate.
May my desire for control not control me.
May I love unconditionally, give without hesitation, and live joyfully.
GROW up and LEARN from your mistakes, AGE gracefully, GIVE without expectations, and LOVE unconditionally. Did I miss anything?
June, 2009
Tonight I said Goodbye to my grandparents for, what I believe is, the last time. My grandmother has burnt has last bridge with my parents and my grandparents will be leaving tomorrow to live on the east coast. They will be living with their last child.
My grandmother has a long and sordid history of alienating and/or disowning one or all of her four children. It's a sad thing when the strongest memories I have of my grandmother are negative ones. It's a sad thing to watch a woman at the end of her life make the same prideful mistakes she made before you were even born. A lifetime of illness and fragile health brought about from resentment and a hardened heart. How can a mother disown a daughter who left her family and business in distress to 'rescue' her - move her lock, stock, and barrel into her own home sacrificing her own family to care for her parents? I don't understand it, but I watched it happen. In thinking about my grandmother, I have chalked her up to one of life's lessons - one I need to learn from. So what can I learn from my grandmother's lifetime of selfishness and self pity? OH, Let me count the ways!
1) Grow up. Mature with age and gain wisdom as you go. There's nothing less attractive than an 80 year old woman with the emotional maturity of a junior higher.
2) Learn from your mistakes. Life may be a spiral, but every time you come around again, the hurdles should be easier.
3) Age gracefully. Bitterness poisons you from the inside out. If you want to live a long and healthy life - live a happy life not storing up offenses and spewing at those around you.
4) Be real. Life is to short to fake your way through it. Life should never be about putting on a smiling face and pretending the ugliness of the night before never happened.
5) Give without the expectation of receiving. Give for the joy of giving not the satisfaction of being recognized. No one should feel guilty for not writing a thank you note.
6)Love without conditions. What do you have to cling to at the end of your life, but the relationships you've built throughout the course of it? Destroy them and you will be a sad, bitter, lonely old woman with nothing but your pride to cling to.
My greatest hope is to not carry these lessons through to my kids. I have enough to learn from in my life without repeating the mistakes of my ancestors.
THIS IS MY PRAYER . . .
May my pride not blind me to my own shortcomings.
May I have the grace to admit when I am wrong, the humility to make amends
and the desire to do better.
May I remember that all we have take from this world into the next are the
relationships we cultivate.
May my desire for control not control me.
May I love unconditionally, give without hesitation, and live joyfully.
GROW up and LEARN from your mistakes, AGE gracefully, GIVE without expectations, and LOVE unconditionally. Did I miss anything?
Friday, May 29, 2009
Life's Lessons at 4 am
Its never a good sign for me to be awake at 4 am. I am usually aware of the White Knight getting up in the morning to go to the gym, coming back and then going to work, but falling back asleep until 6:30 or so is rarely a problem for me. Unless, that is, I have something on my mind. Most of us have those nights where we stare at the ceiling, unable to go to sleep because our brain won't stop thinking. I get that in the morning as well where my brain is unable to relax and wakes me up bright and early to beginning running over the details again. A busy brain usually happens before a large event at the restaurant where details of how and when and who kept running through my head not allowing my body to quiet down. In order to relax, I have to take the time to write out the details of the event to the letter to give my brain the reassurance that, "yes, the details are taken care of you can quit thinking about it now."
Despite a large event tomorrow, this morning's early rising has more to do with emotional and relational circumstances than work details running through my mind. These worries will not be set aside by writing out the details. I have to deal with the people involved as well as my own 'vain imaginations' on the subject. You know, life's Lessons are rarely flattering to the participant. Instead these learning times followed by introspective thoughts reveal our pettiest and most selfish qualities. Not something a perfectionist likes to dwell on. Admitting the shortcomings in myself seems to be the hardest part. I like to be right and I really, really, REALLY don't like to be wrong. Recognizing the problems and their solutions doesn't mean I want to fix them.
If you are aware of a person's desires / wants/ emotional needs are you obligated to go outside of your comfort zone to accommodate them? For instance, if you know someone's love language is touch, yet you avoid hugging them as it makes you uncomfortable (i.e. - not your love language) is that selfishness? Probably. Accommodating them would come under the heading of 'giving of yourself.' It probably depends on the relationship and your desire to deepen the relationship or not. I notice my desire to accommodate my loved ones is directly related to how I am feeling about them at the time. When I am irritated at them, my patience level with their weaknesses has a lower threshold and I find myself deliberately NOT accommodating them. As if withholding something they want or need from me at the time will make ME feel better about them or myself? Am I punishing them for some veiled slight or long ago offense? Or am I punishing them for not recognizing MY desires / wants/ emotional needs and not accommodating me?
Its a hard thing to look in the mirror, judge yourself, and find yourself lacking - to know that you're not as selfless as you want to be or others believe you to be. I would think God uses the stillness of the night and early morning to bring things to light that need our attention. Its probably the best time to get MY attention as I stuff my waking hours with all sorts of distractions. So here I am, up at 4 am and meditating on one of Life's Lessons - serving others.
Despite a large event tomorrow, this morning's early rising has more to do with emotional and relational circumstances than work details running through my mind. These worries will not be set aside by writing out the details. I have to deal with the people involved as well as my own 'vain imaginations' on the subject. You know, life's Lessons are rarely flattering to the participant. Instead these learning times followed by introspective thoughts reveal our pettiest and most selfish qualities. Not something a perfectionist likes to dwell on. Admitting the shortcomings in myself seems to be the hardest part. I like to be right and I really, really, REALLY don't like to be wrong. Recognizing the problems and their solutions doesn't mean I want to fix them.
If you are aware of a person's desires / wants/ emotional needs are you obligated to go outside of your comfort zone to accommodate them? For instance, if you know someone's love language is touch, yet you avoid hugging them as it makes you uncomfortable (i.e. - not your love language) is that selfishness? Probably. Accommodating them would come under the heading of 'giving of yourself.' It probably depends on the relationship and your desire to deepen the relationship or not. I notice my desire to accommodate my loved ones is directly related to how I am feeling about them at the time. When I am irritated at them, my patience level with their weaknesses has a lower threshold and I find myself deliberately NOT accommodating them. As if withholding something they want or need from me at the time will make ME feel better about them or myself? Am I punishing them for some veiled slight or long ago offense? Or am I punishing them for not recognizing MY desires / wants/ emotional needs and not accommodating me?
Its a hard thing to look in the mirror, judge yourself, and find yourself lacking - to know that you're not as selfless as you want to be or others believe you to be. I would think God uses the stillness of the night and early morning to bring things to light that need our attention. Its probably the best time to get MY attention as I stuff my waking hours with all sorts of distractions. So here I am, up at 4 am and meditating on one of Life's Lessons - serving others.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Community Theater
My Knight and I just just finished up a weekend of performances with a local community theater company - Kaleidoscope. The play was truly a family affair with 4 married couples, cousins, mother and son, mother and daughter, sister and brother, sisters, and 2 father and daughter teams participating in the production. My Knight and I played the young couple in love forbidden to marry by a money-grubbing father who wanted the rich, elderly man of the town for a son-in-law instead. To avoid marriage, I (Lucy) promptly lose my voice and spend the whole play being 'doctored' by a variety of quacks. The play is appropriately title 'Is there a doctor in the house?' While I do have one duet with my White Knight (Lester) I spend most of the play sitting on a bench center stage and being extremely expressive while pretending to not be unable to speak. It was really quite funny. While the casting was quite appropriate, it was just funny that one of the more experienced singers sang less than anyone else and the dance major spent most of her time sitting on a bench being 'doctored' rather than participating in the assigned choreography.
Along the lines of family, we were able to bring the Munchkins with us to practices along with two of the other married couples who had young kids. The Munchkins could quote from the play and were often singing their favorite songs from the production. They still remember words for previous musical productions we've done with the same director.
I spent most of my time in the left corner of behind stage when not on stage as there was no crossover behind the curtains. The ladies and I had quite a few interesting conversations about men and such while we were stuck back there for the last week of rehearsals and the production. Great way to-got-to-know people - isolate them and don't give them anything to do other than talk and review lines!
Along the lines of family, we were able to bring the Munchkins with us to practices along with two of the other married couples who had young kids. The Munchkins could quote from the play and were often singing their favorite songs from the production. They still remember words for previous musical productions we've done with the same director.
I spent most of my time in the left corner of behind stage when not on stage as there was no crossover behind the curtains. The ladies and I had quite a few interesting conversations about men and such while we were stuck back there for the last week of rehearsals and the production. Great way to-got-to-know people - isolate them and don't give them anything to do other than talk and review lines!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Happy Mother's Day
I received my first mother's day gift from my son yesterday!
My White Knight has always been wonderful about taking the kids shopping and getting me something for Mother's Day and my birthday, but this was different. This was from him. He'd made a small potted plan in kindergarten and had it stapled shut in a bag marked "Happy Mother's Day Mom from ____ ." I made all the appropriate compliments, but was careful not to assume that the bag was for me. After a few minutes, not sure he was handing me the bag to keep or just to look at, I made sure and asked if it was for me. And it was! It was ME he chose to honor with his Mother's Day present!
My White Knight has always been wonderful about taking the kids shopping and getting me something for Mother's Day and my birthday, but this was different. This was from him. He'd made a small potted plan in kindergarten and had it stapled shut in a bag marked "Happy Mother's Day Mom from ____ ." I made all the appropriate compliments, but was careful not to assume that the bag was for me. After a few minutes, not sure he was handing me the bag to keep or just to look at, I made sure and asked if it was for me. And it was! It was ME he chose to honor with his Mother's Day present!
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